When I catch up with friends and family, I notice how often the conversation starts with, “Yeah, everything is fine,” and then we start talking about what’s not fine.
I do it too. I tend to be very focused on the next problem or obstacle in my life. It’s not necessarily what’s working that comes into play. It’s what’s not working.
Why do we complain so much more than we express gratitude?
I see it in myself, in my clients, and in my social groups. It feels natural, but it’s also a habit we keep reinforcing.
The next problem gets our attention
Lately, for me, that’s been building my coaching business here in Hawaii while maintaining my connections to the Denver community. Finding clients, getting clear about my brand and offers, and staying confident as I continue to put myself out there.
Being a coach is not always the easiest profession to succeed in. But what’s even more difficult is facing rejection and continuing to do the uncomfortable things anyway.
Making the call. Following up. Recording and releasing another piece of content.
I catch myself complaining about not having enough leads or interested clients, while hesitating to do the very things that might help change that.
Then the morning brings a little perspective
My partner is originally from Ukraine, and most of her family is still there, including her mother and stepfather. In the mornings, while we’re getting ready for our workday, she often calls her mom to check in.
Hearing about what her family is living through is a very humbling experience. The fear, the losses, the disruptions to everyday life.
For many of us, war is a distant thought or a political talking point that occasionally comes up in the news or a discussion. For her and her family, it’s something they experience every single day.
It saddens me. And it gives me perspective when I’m personally feeling like a coward about calling someone back or recording another video.
Here I am, living in a beautiful place, with the opportunity to build something meaningful, and I’m afraid someone might say no.
Giving the good things some space
We have infrastructure, internet, groceries, gas stations, and parks. We can go for a beautiful hike or sit on our asses and watch Netflix, YouTube, or sports.
It’s not a bad thing to have privilege, but it’s definitely something to keep in check.
That’s why I practice gratitude every single day: in my journal, in my prayers, and with my clients. It is so easy to focus on the things we don’t have.
Our challenges still matter. I’m still figuring out how to grow my business. But I want to give the good things some actual space in my conversations too: our healthy bodies, our beautiful friendships, and the opportunities we have.
It takes real intentionality to notice what’s working.
The next time you catch up with someone, give those good things some airtime too.
What are you grateful for that you haven’t talked about lately?